Bernice had actually eaten three, one for each time she had been into the break room. Yes, they weren’t very good, but she couldn’t resist, even a mediocre vegan chocolate chip cookie that probably had some weird ingredient that was supposedly good for you, but was not very popular, particularly in a cookie that everyone should like. She felt like it was a bait and switch.
She was ready to chuck the whole thing in the trash, as it had been three days. The foil was half off them, so as dry they had been originally, now they were even more so, brittle tan-brownish discs of styrofoam. But there was an unexpressed rule that whoever put a snack in the break room, was the one who decided when it had to go. Mind you, some things didn’t last that long, like the scrumptious tunnel of fudge bundt cake from last week, which was definitely made with butter, or at least margarine. Bernice wondered - is margarine vegan? She wasn’t sure.
She took the last bite of the cookie. It was hard, but at least there was a chocolate chip in it. But who knows, maybe it wasn’t chocolate, but that carob nonsense which didn’t fool anyone.
She then decided to take matters into her own hands, and dispose of them. Right now, indeed. She got up, walked through the maze of cubicles. Alex was leaning back in his chair, staring off into space as usual. She gave him a look and he hunched over the computer, pretending to be busy.
In the break room was the plate of cookies, with three left on it. She picked it up, and threw it in the trash. Done! She had done everyone a favor. Maybe someone would take this as a hint, and bring in something tasty tomorrow.
Later that afternoon came the email from Leonard. The subject line was “WHO THREW AWAY THE COOKIES?”. Bernice groaned. The email had been sent to the whole department, with a terse message about wasting food, particularly delicious cookies that had been brought in for everyone to enjoy. Leonard ended by saying he was disappointed.
Alex peeked over the cubicle. “You threw them away, didn’t you?”. Bernice gave a grimace, and then nodded. “Good, because they sucked. I ate one and had to wash it down with old coffee.”. Alex then went back to his cubicle, to stare off in space again.
The next day there was a bundt cake, a pumpkin spice one. But Bernice was now suspicious. Maybe it had chia seed in it? Maybe zucchini? She couldn’t be sure. There was one slice ready to eat. She broke off a piece. Not bad at all, she thought. She picked up the rest of the piece.
Then she turned, and there was Leonard. “I know you threw away the cookies! I had plans for those cookies!.” Bernice shrugged, “Well, they were three days old, and people had stopped eating them”. “They were perfectly fine, someone may have wanted one, but you had to be Miss Wasteful and throw them away.” “Hey! I’m sorry! I didn’t know you had made them.” Leonard turned pink, and pointed a finger at her “WASTER, WASTER! You are the problem!”. Bernice tried to leave, but Leonardpicked up the bundt cake and threw it at her. She ducked and it hit the wall. Leonard then left the room cursing loudly, kicking cubicles. She could hear him saying “BERNICE IS A WASTEY WASTER. SHE IS THE REASON THIS PLACE IS GOING TO HELL.”
Later that day she saw Leonard carrying a box, accompanied by the security guard who normally did nothing but watch netflix on his phone. As Leonard passed her cubicle, he hissed at her “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT”.
The next day, there was a plate of cookies in the break room. They were an odd color, brownish with flecks of green. Bernice bit into one. It was kale.
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