But Latisha probed on. With her boyfriend gone, it was indeed time to get rid of this stuff. He was notorious for eating things way past expiration. Lunch Meat, in itself kind of gross, was unfortunately aged in the fridge until there was a sheen of slime on it. But Sean would happily consume it in a sandwich consisting of a slice of plastic looking American cheese (how appropriate indeed), a thick mortar of mayonnaise, two slices of lunch meat and oddest of all - a fried egg (in itself often well out of date).
In the very back was a truly odd plastic container. It was low and oval shaped, and snapped together in the middle. It was made of a kind of semi-opaque silvery plastic, smooth and well made. Inside she couldn't quite make out the contents, but it looked like takeout Chinese. There were what appeared to be noodles, and little chunks of vegetables. It looked strangely appetizing.
Prying the container apart took some effort. Using a table knife was not sufficient, plus she was concerned about injuring herself. In the end it was the tip of a flat blade screwdriver and a wine bottle wrapped in a towel that allowed it to pop open.
When the container opened, there was a fragrant aroma - was it ginger and citrus? She couldn't quite pin it down, but it looked and smelled wonderful. There didn't seem to be any dangerous growths on it. It actually looked quite fresh.
She found to her delight that that container itself was quite microwavable, although it did glow ever so faintly as the food heated. She was quite unable to hear the muffled screams from the container as it was bathed in hi intensity radio waves.
----
Znged had been patient. He was part of the early scout forces from a distant planet, which was called Lacasli Four, being the fourth planet (and final one) that had been colonized by his people. This had been over 4*4*3 years ago.
The proud Lacasli's had managed to prosper and grow, despite the fact that their appendages were like limp egg noodles, and their bodies a lumpen mass, with all the organs seemly thrown in at random. This was actually their strength, for it was difficult to wipe them out once they took root. Shooting or stepping on them only caused them to spread. The only thing that had seemed to work was intense heat, and who had the time to do that? Fortunately for the Lacasli's, the planets they had conquered had been inhabited by dimwitted creatures that were slow moving and apathetic.
This planet had been a long-shot, an inter-galactic crapshoot. They had blasted off in a huge ship shaped somewhat shaped like a kidney bean, and right before hitting earth's atmosphere, their little individual pods scattered like dandelion seeds in the wind. It was the hope that at least a few of them would survive the plummet to earth, their speed unabated by parachutes or retrorockets.
Znged had not anticipated it being so cold on earth. It made him even more sticky and clumpy than usual. It was hard to move. It seemed to him that the sun more or less came on for random times, and would stay on for only a short while. He needed sunlight to grow stronger, and now he was feeling particularly weak and lifeless.
However, he could now feel himself being moved, and then the sun shone intensely into his ship. He could feel things warming up. "At last", he told himself, "the invasion can begin". But as the temperature continued to rise, he became worried. Soon, he could feel himself beginning to cook. This had not been part of the plan.
----
Latisha munched down on what she decided was Ginger Lemon Tofu with Noodles. It was some of the best she had ever eaten. She decided that she did need to talk to Sean after all, if for no other reason to find where he did get this wonderful asian takeout.
The container, made of a remarkable material that was neither a plastic or metal, ended in the trash because she could not find a recycling code on the bottom to identify it. Soon it would end up in a landfill with several dozen other empty containers, the contents consumed with gusto. The invasion wasn't a success, but was delicious none the less.
No comments:
Post a Comment