Milo's Arch Enemy

Milo had no enemies. Well, actually he did, but it wasn’t an enemy - it was an ARCH enemy. Milo was a superhero, and all superheroes had to have their nemesis. His was his neighbor down the hall from his apartment. Said neighbor (named Chuck, Charles or something like that) had put out a welcome mat with puppies on it that said “WELCOME”. It was attractive and playful. And Milo hated it, because he had bought the very same welcome mat only 2 weeks before, but had neglected to put it out. Now, he had a welcome mat that he couldn’t use. And the welcome mat was important, as that was the only thing that people could put outside their door to differentiate their apartment from any other faceless apartment door.

Milo had only met Chuck a time or two before. He was scruffy bearded, thin and tall. He wore those skinny jeans that looked like something he had stolen from his girl friend. They had met downstairs while checking their mail boxes, and Milo noticed that Chuck had received a LOT of mail. The box was stuffed full. He wondered what that was about - bills? Junk mail? Fan Mail? One of the letters had hit the ground, Milo picked it up, and it was a handwritten envelope from Japan. Japan?

Milo handed the envelope to Chuck, Chuck said thanks, turned and walked to the elevator. Milo followed. He was curious as to what was going on here, but didn’t want to appear too nosy. He smiled at Chuck while they got on the elevator, but Chuck had already opened one of the envelopes and was reading a one page letter. He smiled faintly. Milo was dying to see what was in that letter. He coughed a fake cough, and then said “Letter from a girlfriend?”. Chuck looked up, smirked, and said “Nope”.

At that point the elevator doors opened, and they split up. Milo was vexed. He imagined it was a job offer. Maybe a piece of fan mail? He went through all the options. Milo’s brain whirled like a tire stuck in mud. After a bit, he decided he didn’t like Chuck very much at all. “He could have at least given me a hint” he thought.

So Milo threw away his welcome mat, and bought a new one. This was a “Hello Kitty” one. “Let’s take it in a different direction” he thought.  He put it out. Good. His was cooler than Chuck’s anyway, with the hipster-ironic thing going on.

Two weeks later, Milo was taking his trash out, and walked by Chuck’s apartment on the way to the elevator. HE HAD A NEW WELCOME MAT. It was the same “Hello Kitty” one. Milo picked it up, and got in the elevator, and pushed the button for the first floor. On the way down, there was a small lurch, and the elevator stopped. Milo was perplexed, but he decided to wait patiently for a minute to see if it would start up again on it’s own. It didn’t. Milo ended up pushing the alarm button which rang a bell. About two hours later, Milo finally escaped, with his trash and the welcome mat, which he had rolled up to try to obscure it. But of course, as he got out of the elevator, there was skinny jeaned Chuck talking to a elevator technician. Milo had a moment of panic……and decided to rush on by.

Chuck glanced at him, and saw the welcome mat. “You throwing away your welcome mat? Can I have it?”. Milo was stuck. He handed it over, ran out, dumped his trash, and ran back in to the elevator. Chuck was gone.

Milo went upstairs, and Chuck’s welcome mat was back in place. He went to his own apartment, and HIS WELCOME MAT WAS GONE. So Milo now had an arch-enemy. The battle was on.